The Link Between People-Pleasing and Anxiety
Do you constantly put others' needs before your own? Struggle to say no? Feel anxious when someone is upset with you? People-pleasing and anxiety often go hand in hand, reinforcing a cycle of stress, self-neglect, and emotional exhaustion.
Why Do We People-Please?
People-pleasing often stems from:
Fear of rejection or abandonment.
Low self-worth—believing your value comes from making others happy.
Past experiences (e.g., growing up in a household where love felt conditional).
Anxiety and conflict avoidance—saying “yes” feels easier than setting a boundary.
How People-Pleasing Fuels Anxiety
Suppressing your feelings can lead to resentment, stress, and burnout.
Worrying about others’ approval can make you feel on edge, insecure, or emotionally drained.
Saying “yes” too often can lead to overcommitment and exhaustion.
How to Break the Cycle
Recognize your triggers. Notice when you're agreeing to things out of guilt or fear.
Start small with boundaries. Saying “I need to think about it” can be a step toward saying no.
Tolerate discomfort. Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier.
Reframe your mindset. Your worth isn’t based on how much you do for others.
If people-pleasing is causing stress in your life, therapy can help you develop assertiveness skills and work through the underlying fears that drive this behavior.
